The Diagnosis- Finally!
Updated: Dec 15, 2021
All in all I can’t complain, my results were rushed through super fast and I am so grateful. 4th November and my results were in, waiting until half 2 was torture and they were running late- standard!
My name was called and this time armed with my rock as it should have been the first time! ‘I’m afraid it is cancer, it’s fast growing and around 3cm big’. Grade 2/ Stage 2a invasive ductal carcinoma, ER/PR positive and HER2 negative to be exact. Lenny had only recently taken up residence and it’s time to evict him quick! I wasn’t as shocked as I’d spent the last week psyching myself up which I guess eased the blow.
I was not prepared for the next part. I was examined again by the surgical registrar (she was lovely!) and told how I’m gonna be sliced open to get this bast*** out and even given an option on my preferred method! LIKE WHAT! I got to choose from a nice slice down the middle or a full ring around the nipple, hmmm is it abit like would you rather!? Both are SH**. However, she was very conscious to keep me looking as good as can be.
The shock came with the treatment options. I was prepared to need surgery and radiotherapy but NOT chemo. That’s when the sobbing began and my first two thoughts- ‘I’m going to lose my hair’, ‘I’m not going to be able to have children’. Bloody awful. I’m not a bold and confident person that can transition to the no hair look so that’s going to be a HUGE struggle and I’ve shed many tears over it. I’ll want to hide away until it’s all over but I know that’s no good for me as I would tell my patients! I have now been referred to the fertility clinic to hopefully have some eggs frozen to give me the chance to still have children in the future and I really hope I can.
Positive- Always take someone to your appointment whether they say you’re allowed or not- it REALLY helps! Learning that beauty is deeper than the surface and you don’t need the long hair to be beautiful. Breast cancer treatments have come so far and I am likely to be able to preserve my fertility (hopefully) and try to live a normal life.
If you need a reminder text to check your boobs every month follow this link!- https://coppafeel.org/remind-me/remind-me-sms/ (we all have the memory of a goldfish sometimes!)