To Baldly Go, Wig or Headscarf 🤷♀️
I am writing this entry today in a much better head space than my last thats for sure! I am feeling physically a little better. I am now 8 days post my 2nd cycle of EC Chemo. One more GCSF injection to go tomorrow and hopefully should start feeling myself again over the next couple of days! The eye piercing headache is back and the morphine isn’t doing as quite as good of a job as last time but I’m managing!
The tiniest achievements have become huge recently. Since the trauma of losing my hair I have decided my only comfort bubble is home. The only people I have seen is Sam and my mum. I did stretch to my brother briefly but cried the whole time about how awful I looked and didn’t want him to see me. Today was the first day I went out properly since losing my hair! I managed a whole dog walk and an exciting trip to Tescos 😂. Considering I was contemplating life a few days ago I’d say this is a bloody big achievement!
I’m still not 100% happy with my wig not looking like a wig, I don’t like wearing a head scarf because I feel it makes me look like a cancer patient. I inevitably am and guess I just have to embrace it 🙈. Keep being told how brave I am and it’s like I didn’t get given a choice!
I have found the company Eadie Chops who I came across on Instagram recommended by Kat who’s also dealing with the joys of breast cancer. Hands down the best head scarf I have had yet! The first one I felt looked too much like an actual turban and didn’t think it suit me which l got from Etsy. The second I said made me look a chef and Sam started saying ‘yes chef’ in response to everything I said 😂 (also from Etsy) BUT this one is just a cute bow and I can live with that! I’ve ordered another one in a sage green to add a little bit of colour! 😍
Today has been a good day as I got my genetic test results back! I am completely negative to BRCA1, BRCA2 and PALB2! In other words I have pure sh** luck. I am glad there’s no implications on the family or more faff with embryo testing down the line. I am most happy that I get to keep my boobs! The dodgy one is referred to as ‘Bluey’ now as yes, ITS STILL BLUE! No more surgeries which is fab meaning 2 weeks of radiotherapy after chemo and then just maintenance hormone therapy! The end is in sight and no surgery hopefully means getting back to work will be slightly easier and then less money issues 🤞. Cancer does not take into consideration the mortgage payments!
I also applied for PIP- personal independent payment today. It was suggested to me by Georgia who I’ve met through Instagram who had the same diagnosis as me around a year before me! I won’t say no to a little extra financial help so we’ll see if they think I’m worthy! So good that you can still apply for help even with a full time wage, something I did not know about!
Positive: The family are safe!! No dodgy genes that can be found thank goodness! Just me in the sh** storm but I guess I’m already dealing with that! My confidence is slowly increasing to leave the house and start living life again as it’s gonna be a bloody long time till my hair grows back 🙄. One day at a time eh Soph!
I’m looking forward to Wednesday next week where I have my first consultation with Lucinda Ellery. They do semi- permanent wigs that you can wear for up to a week at a time before just re-securing them. Can wear swimming, wash as your own in the shower and basically have hair again! Then I don’t have to be bald in the interims or worried my wigs gonna fall off! Sams sister kindly set up a go fund me page which has already raised £700!! https://gofund.me/48093ed7 Thank you so much to everyone that has donated ❤️I’m super grateful and really looking forward to using this towards a more permanent hair fix that I’ll hopefully be even more happy with and can continue living life despite the cancer cloud! 🌧