Trying To Fit In
After a long wait the day finally came to get my new semi-permanent wig with Lucinda Ellery! Thank you so much to everyone who donated on GoFundMe and made this possible, don’t know how I would have coped without it! Custom made and truly amazing! I went up to Southampton for it so it wasn’t too far. It took most of the day and was so clever! In brief, they colour match your hair from lots of photos and you get to choose! A skin coloured mesh is laid against your head and literally moulded with stitches to sit flush! Once thats done, they sew in a sheet of hair at a time and build it up! Then they add a parting section and side sections and sew it all together as one! It is then taped to your head and stays stuck for a week!
I felt so comfortable even with exposing my bald head and the experience was amazing and I left feeling fab! The following day it was so surreal! I went to sleep with hair and woke up with hair! I felt more confident going out and had a lovely evening with family.
I recently hit a down point when my eyelashes starting to break and fall out and I was really struggling with strip lashes. I decided to re-book in with my lash tech who worked her magic and did everything she could with what I had to make me feel better! 🥰
Today however was another story! I went back to the hair salon to have the wigs first wash and be taught how to stick it down etc. I was SO overwhelmed! I felt okay whilst in there but as soon as I left I just wanted to cry! There was so much to learn and take in and maintenance and I just felt upset and angry. I did have a good cry in the end and just felt so fed up that I had to do all this to just try and fit in. All to try and feel that little bit better about myself all because of my hair. Hair that cancer stripped away from me!
Meltdown out the way and perspective eventually made it’s way back into the forefront. I realised that I am so lucky to be able to have such a good wig and be able to feel a little better! It‘s already made such a huge difference. As much as it’s crap having cancer at least my hair will grow back and this is all just a phase that will pass. Deep breaths!
Chemo no.5 on Wednesday 😬. So over it now and absolutely dreading feeling so sh** again but it’s got to be done!
Positive: Life can really test you at times but it ultimately shows your strength and resilience. A meltdown, a cry, a shout in anger is all part of the process, it’s what gets you through, one step at a time ❤️